BAD MOOD!

WHOA. so today i was doing my stand up rountine in the cafeteria, right? like i do every thursday. just tellin' some jokes trying to get some ass, literally i just try to convince people to let me touch their ass. and then after the show some chick comes up to me and tells me about how she was offended by my labia jokes. and i was like "i didn't tell any labia jokes today," and she was all "yeah i know, you told them last year, i have just finished collecting my thoughts on them." and then she was all "i have a labia and i am a bitchy mcCranky-pants. blah blah blah. you suck. blah blah blah. i'm a whore that can't face my own problems and get mad at everything. well subtract everything and just leave you and that's who i am going to take my anger out at. i lead such a sad pathetic life that i took the time to record and research every joke you made. blah blah blah." and then i was all "can i touch your ass?" and that whore-bag let me.

yo yo yo

i am thinking about becoming gangsta.

off the hiz-ook for shiz-erious

i hear that some people are doing something cool tonight.

i guess nobody invited me, though...

i'll stay home and blog, maybe.

or just mix wine and xanax for a while.

i like xanax because it's a palindrome; emo rd nila pastie, suaceb xanax ekili?

-terryrret-

If you love something, let it go.

I hope this doesn't sound creepy or anything, but I'm looking for you, Jenni. I tried facebook, I tried yahoo peoplesearch, all for nothing. I feel like we've grown apart. And I know maybe there's a chance that you want it this way. I just hope me searching for you doesn't make things awkward between us Jenni. I love what we had. I believe in Us. I'm sorry, baby. Come back to me. Ever since that fateful day when I took a shit and happened to have my notepad with me... I scribble down your number from that stall in the men's room. That's right...

Jenni, I got your number off of a bathroom wall.

But no matter if I use the yellowpages.com reverse phonebook search, I can't seem to find your home address. Goddammit Jenni, you must be from out of town. I just don't think it's a local number...

867-5309.

Most on-campus numbers are 994-xxxx. But I guess you're different. It's probably your cell phone, but with so many possible area codes, there's no way to find you...

I got it! I got it! I got your number on the wall!

Maybe if I go back to that same wall, leave a message asking for an area code, one day the lucky soul who knew you well enough to share your wondrous number with all the world will complete the enigma and finish the area code. Then, maybe then, I'll be able to sleep at night.

-terry-

PS - Don't tell mom I've been talking to girls. She gets very protective.

the most amazing weekend ever

i went on a roadtrip this weekend without my mom! it was so amazing. i couldn't believe how fun it was. wait stop cut. CUT! i don't know why i was using that silly accent. can i just start this blog over again? i have this numerical anagram i need to show you guys.

i took my laptop with me on the trip, so i could play snood all weekend, but now i lost the power cord. i was gonna buy a new one right away, but i'm jewish and hate spending money. i'll just wait till those girls we stayed with (real live girls! with chesticles and everything!) email me back so i can have them mail me the cord.

charity

i think charity sucks. my back hurts and i am tired. i want to go home. i don't want to do charity. and i especially don't want to do charity when i am a monkey on stage being fed jokes that aren't funny. i don't want to introduce clubs. i want to watch tv. i really like tv, and perhaps we should just watch tv and call it a charity show. i think everyone would be happier that way, and isn't that what charity is all about?

will someone just give me money for being pathetic? because when it comes down to it i am fairly pathetic.