female comics

i am currently watching a female comic on comedy central. she has said cunt a whole bunch of times, that makes me respect her and want to be like her. in general i think people who swear a lot are funny. just because so few people can swear, and comment on stereotypes. i wish more comics would do it, and then everyone would be as funny as this lady. you know if they did more jokes about black people liking big asses, and white people being uptight. that's funny. and if they could mention something about asian people being good at math that would help. OR blondes being dumb, as anyone else noticed that? i sure have.

i haven't seen my mom all day that fucking cunt rag bitch whore is probably driving around in her gas guzzling SUV picking up and dropping of kids at soccer practice in between grocery shopping. i hope her latte burns her tongue so she can't taste for days.

present

so my mom gave me a new retainer for the festival of lights. its purple with sparkles. and i was wearing it in hebrew class today and someone called me a homosexual. i ran into the bathroom and started crying, only to find it was actually the teacher's lounge. then someone pantsed me. i didn't see who did it because of all the tears. so i rode my bike over to the orthodontist and tried to exchange my retainer for store credit, it was a no go.

when i came home mom asked what was wrong and i explained my predictament. she called the mother of the boy who called me a homo, and the mother explained that her son called me a faggot because he could see that i was wearing women's panties. mom quickly hung up and apologized to me for getting our laundry mixed up. i told her i hated her and never wanted to speak to her again and that i wished she would die and that dad was right to walk out on her. she started crying and i threw a knife at her.

but all in all it was a good day because i can keep the retainer i have so desperately wanted.

Cricket, Tea, and Jewness.

I was going to watch the game tonight, but ESPN isn't showing the cricket championships. Guess I'll just go have a cup of tea with mum and discuss world politics. I really think apartheid would work if we really gave it a good go. Well, we're lighting the fifth chanukah candle soon (we like to stay ahead of the game), so I guess I'll write more later.

first blog

i'm terry recess. this is my new blog. i am excited and thrilled and exhilirated to be blogging. i just hope my mom doesn't find out. or she'll blog me. oh jokes-a-million, that's what my friends call me. good ol' jokes-a-million.